President Trump’s joint press conference with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe took an unexpected emotional turn, as a discussion of national safety ended with a hasty evacuation of the President to his own safe space.
In response to a question from Daniel Halper of the New York Post about the 9th Circuit Court’s challenge to the travel ban, Trump said, “We are going to keep our country safe, we are going to do whatever is necessary to keep our country safe.” When Blake Berman from Fox stood up next to follow up on Halper’s question, Trump reiterated, “We’ll be doing things to continue to make our country safe.”
Trump paused a moment before continuing: “Because everyone needs a safe space!” Still addressing the Fox representative, he went on, “What was Tucker Carlson saying on your network the other day? Everybody gets a safe space except for white men. I want to make the whole country into a safe space for white men! For everyone who might find the sight of a non-white face, or the sound of a foreign language, a trigger.”
Struggling to hold back tears, the President continued: “And I need my safe space too! Why is everybody always picking on me and my family? So unfair! Sometimes I just want someone to sit with me and hold my hand.” Turning to Abe, he asked plaintively, “Shinzo, could you be that person?”
The visibly startled Prime Minister was spared having to reply, as agents of the Secret Service’s Emotional Protection Division quickly escorted the President out of the East Room, while another agent from the division’s K-9 unit accompanied them with Snowflake, the First Therapy Dog. Sources inside the White House reported that they were headed to a small room off the Oval Office, equipped with beanbag chairs, coloring books, and fresh-baked cookies. On the way, the President was overheard asking, “Do we still have any of that Play-Doh the governor of Louisiana didn’t want?”
The following day, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer emphatically denied that such an incident had ever happened. “The President was escorted to the situation room,” Spicer said, “because, you know, he had a situation.” But the story had already generated a flurry of comments on Twitter. “Safe spaces? WTF?” demanded one former Trump supporter. “We need a Commander-in-Chief, not a Crybaby-in-Chief!” Others, however, were more sympathetic. “POTUS is under a lot of stress, and it’s good for him to express his emotions in ways that don’t involve Executive Orders,” said one comment. “Maybe this means we need to Make America Gentle Again.”